The Relic Master

The timing could not have been better on Christopher Buckley's latest satirical novel, The Relic Master (#543).  I have just reached a point in my EfM studies which makes me appreciate just how absurd the whole business of relics, indulgences and raising revenues for the parties controlling those very things sound on paper, and yet how small a distance Mr. Buckley had to stray from the truth to concoct an over-the-top plot concerning the stealing of the Shroud of Chamberly. 

Dismas, the eponymous Relic Master, works for two patrons: Albrecht, Archbishop of Mainz, and Frederick, Elector of Saxony.  For ambitious Albrecht, collecting relics is a matter of surpassing the size of Frederick's vast collection (and of course, the cash flow from the faithful's viewing of the same!).  For Frederick, the relics are genuine objects of veneration.  His brief for Dismas is to make sure that each acquisition is authentic.  Dismas does have professional integrity; he has never knowingly sold his his patrons a fraudulent relic.  Things take a nasty turn for Dismas when he refuses to buy a fake for Albrecht which was a potential money-maker.  What does Albrecht do, but build his very own fake. For him, it's business: display a relic, collect a donation, grant an indulgence to the faithful so as to shorten their own or a loved one's time in Purgatory (a very convenient medieval invention!).  It really was the proverbial Sacred (Cash) Cow.  No wonder Luther was raising a ruckus about it in Frederick's Saxony!   From there, it's just a short leap to blackmailing Dismas into stealing a neighboring Duchy's prize Shroud.

With the help of Albrecht Durer and three German mercenaries provided by Archbishop Albrecht to keep an eye on Dismas, the two set off on a wild adventure across Europe, praying to come out of it alive, but not very hopeful.  Mix in some murders, a runaway beauty some Italians and the action never stops.

Probably not for devout Catholics, or those who think religion and satire don't mix well.  I happen to think that they do, and really enjoyed this one!