Classified

There are legions of Fern Michaels fans out there just waiting for Classified (#343), the latest book in her popular Godmother series.  I discovered from reading my first Fern Michaels book that I'm not one of them.

There is a very disturbing Prologue in this book, which never does have any further connection that I could tell to the rest of the book.  A gaggle of extremely well-heeled women in their seventies living in Charleston have man trouble (in that they all have handsome, rich men who want to marry them hanging around!) while succeeding at making yet more money in their respective businesses.  There's Toots, the leader of the gang with her obscene wealth and Midas touch; her daughter Abby who's convinced she's terminally ill.  Angst and sturm und drang until she finally figures out it's just morning sickness.  Toots can't figure out a way to tell her main squeeze she's been married eight(!) times previously.  Then there's Sophie, the psychic, who tells the Charleston Police where to find two missing children just before they meet a fate worse than death.  Oh, and she can tell what's physically wrong with animals, too.  Ida, who's made a fortune with face cream and is the acknowledged bottom position on the godmother totem pole takes up with the much younger prodigal son of Bernice, an unofficial godmother.  She and Bernice, a rather nasty piece of work if you ask me, mutually loathe each other and spend a great deal of the book swearing at each other and making obscene gestures and suggestions.    Language, ladies, language! 

Sound like something you'd want to read?  Frankly, the dialogue was so unexpectedly rude and crude, and the plot, if you can call it that, so meandering, vague and unrealistic (Ha! I'd like to see a Catholic priest agree to the type of baptism Ms. Michaels describes in this book!) that it reminded me of just why I watch so very little TV.  Not worth the time or effort.

If you're a fan, you'll love this book despite anything I say.  If you haven't read any of her work to date, don't waste your time.  There are so many books out there much more worthy of your attention.